Jogger!

I wanted to write a blog yesterday, I was all in the mood and had plenty of time, but blogger was down so the moment passed! Now I guess I'll write that blog, but with less enthusiasm, and less time.

There is some pathetic 80's rock concert for the next two days at Merriweather so there's all these horrible people staying at the hotel.  I mean they are perfectly nice, just their taste in clothes and music is horrible. And there are so many of them! Two guys even flew in from MEXICO to see these horrible bands, like Warrant and Whitesnake and Sebastian Bach. Yuck-o. To each their own, whatever. I just wish I wasn't working. Usually fridays are very relaxed and slow, but today we are busy, busy, busy and I hate it! I just want to sit on my butt and watch Bleach until it's time to leave.

This morning Shirley and Jake and I went on this bike ride for an hour and a half right around the immediate area where we live. It was really fun! I love riding bikes. We were exploring all of these bike paths that I had never been on before. It really makes me realize how lucky I am to live in a place that has so many beautiful wooded paths all interconnecting. I definately appreciate it. It was all cool and misty outside.

In other exercise news, I can officially jog for 2 miles straight! That is a huge accomplishment. I am one mile away from being able to run a 5k. I think I could probably do that by July, if I keep it up and don't get lazy in Israel. I can hardly believe that I can run for 2 miles. It astounds me every time I think about it. I just kept trying and trying and trying and trying and one day I could just do it! It's so much fun to run! I can do it in like 24 minutes too, that is like a 12 minute mile. I think I should try and improve on that time. Unfortunately it's supposed to rain for the next 7 days in a row. There's always the gym I guess.

In weight loss news, I guess that I didn't really gain weight or else I lost it because now I'm 140! Woot, that means I've lost 10 lbs since March. I keep gaining weight around my female troubles and that throws my weigh ins every once in a while. I always wonder about that on the Biggest Loser, do they take that kind of stuff into accound for the females? Or are they just totally screwed and therefor have to work 100 times harder than the males?? That would be so unfair.

In almost being crippled for life news, Cody almost crushed my foot. He was driving and I was in the backseat, and I said I had to get out and run back in the house to get something, so he pulled over and stopped. I opened the door and put my feet on the ground and for some unknown reason the car started slowly rolling forward, and it started rolling over my FOOT! I was trapped and it was getting more and more trapped and I started screaming "BACK UP BACK UP!! BACK THE FUCK UP!" Finally he understood and backed up, but by then I was in pretty bad pain and I sort of like limped away. I was in such panic and shock! Luckily my sneakers were thick soled and that protected my foot a little, and I could tell nothing was broken or anything but other than that I coudln't tell if I was severely injured or just a little hurt. So I was totally freaking out. I went up to my room and put a bag of frozen edamame on it and just layed there like so terrified that i'd never be able to walk again. I even cried for a minute or two because I was afraid that I woudln't be able to exercise anymore and then I would be crippled and just sit in bed eating cake all day and getting fat. But then after a few minutes I realized that it did hurt but I could move it all around and nothing was broken so I must be fine. And magically I was! It is still a little tender even though it was a few days ago, but it feels fine when I walk/jog/bike/stand so it's all good as far as I'm concerned. It's really scary how fast something can happen that could totally ruin your life. I feel so lucky that he wasn't accelerating faster, and that he heard me, and that it wasn't over my toes, and that my sneakers were thick. What if I had been wearing flip flops or something!!?? I don't even want to think about it.

I bought the BEST bathing suit in the WORLD! It is a Swim Dress. I don't know why i've never tried one before, but it was so great! It covers all of the areas I don't feel comfortable showing, and plus it looks like I'm wearing a cute little dress, but it's secretly a one peice bathing suit.
Here's a picture

That's all I have to say for now. Back to work I suppose!

Not Losing Weight Fast Enough!

I'm getting a little frustrated with this whole weight loss thing. I know it takes time and patience and consistency, and a lot of times I just take every day in stride with my eyes on the prize. But some days, like today for instance, I am angry and I feel impatient. I just want to be skinny for once in my life and part of me is afraid that such a thing is impossible. That part is louder today than the part that knows I can do anything. I woke up today, looked in the mirror, and scrutinized myself as usual, but instead of seeing positive things all I saw were my flaws. I'm afraid that I've hit a plateau. I'm afraid maybe I'm not eating enough calories, but what if I am, and then I add more calories, and then I gain weight!? I am just a little lost on what I should do. I got down to 141.5 before passover, but now I'm back up to 143! Is it possible that I really ate THAT much?! I write down my calories every day and I eat an exclusively vegetarian diet, eating fruits and vegetables, only whole grains, plenty of fiber and protein. I exercise so hard at least 5 days a week, now always between 40 minutes to 2 hours a day! The only thing I drink is water (well, and coffee). I can jog further than ever before. I have a better fitness level than anyone I know. So why am I still fat!? I am just so sick of my body. No wonder I was never skinny before. How frustrating can something be?! If I have such control over what I look like, then why do I not look how I want? I'm not giving up, but I just wish I knew if I was doing something wrong so that I could change it. At this point I would take almost any advise. All I do is watch talk shows about weight loss tips and watch reality shows about people trying to lose weight. You'd think all this would help me somehow, but I feel stuck.

I guess I need a game plan. I need to add a lot more weight training, and go back to intervals. Maybe I need more vegetables??? Less carbs? Argh, who knows!? I think I would be satisfied at 135, but 130 would be even better. The problem is i'm so short that even the smallest amount of extra weight looks HORRIBLE on me because it doesn't have a lot of room to spread out. If only I was at least taller! I just want to look good in clothes, goddamnit. Is that too much to ask!? I want to wear actual shorts. I want to be able to wear a tight shirt and not be pulling it off me constantly, and walking around with my arms crossed over my stomach in shame. It's all just not happening fast enough.

I think I need to chill.  It's only been 2 months that i've been doing this. Deep breaths. Lol.

Accepted

So after a long wait and a lot of contemplation I finally found out that I was accepted to the University of Maryland College Park, and I decided to accept. I know it seems anticlimactic seeing as I have been talking up Colorado for like two years, but when all is said and done I am more comfortable with UMD, both emotionally and financially. I am happy with my decision, and I will proceed with little to no regret. Now that I have applied to college and have been accepted, the long haul begins of figuring everything else out. I'm not going to lie, it's stressful even to think about all that lies ahead, but as in all things that seem too hard to comprehend accomplishing at the moment: one step at a time, one day at a time, one second at a time if need be. And just like it was with community college, it will be unfolding, happening, and over before I know it. Well, one good thing is that because of the size of the campus I will surely be getting my exercise in daily while I am in attendance.

My diet and exercise plan is RIGHT on track, by the way. I have become a master of skillfully delaying small amounts of food until just the right time so that I can make it all day and only have had 1000 calories. At that point I try to eat a little more, because I don't want my body to go into starvation mode, but it's pretty awesome that the problem I'm having is not eating enough food by the end of the night, instead of having eaten too much. Also I have been exercising very regularly, five days a week at least, once in a while twice a day. I could be doing more weights though. And my hard work is paying off! I have been losing about a pound a week. So in...8 weeks I will be at my goal weight. I don't know if my weight loss will remain that steady, but for now I'm just going to keep going and see what happens. I become more vain with every pound lost! I think I look great, with room for improvement.

I still haven't found out about going to Israel...it's still up in the air. My mumsy is insisting we all go from the 1st to about the 14th of June, which is clearly in violation of the fact that my boss said I could only go after the 7th. So I've asked her all over again if she could find it in her heart, and I pled my case in an email, and hopefully all that time I spent on persuasive writing in English and Public Speaking class will really pay off. Only time will tell!

I hung out with Kate a few more times when she came back from working Mardis Gras, and we had a lot of fun. We even got to hang out with Fallon, another friend from my NOLA days. We all watched this movie that our friend spent 2 years making and we made fun of it the whole time, it was pretty funny. The movie was really not very good, except for when Fallon would cameo in it. She probably could have starred in the movie and it would have been better. Overall we did not agree with the casting, and the plot was just of no use to the movie except to be confusing. Maybe I am just too normal these days to think that a movie about trainhopping is cool. Like "Oh i love getting drunk every day and being broke and filthy without a pot to piss in and sleeping in the streets with no end in sight. What fun!" OK I might have though that was cool a couple years ago, and yes that kind of stuff can be fun. But now I look back and think that it is all kind of ridiculous. Like, how awesome is it to be able to buy things and be safe in a bed and get to shower every day? Pretty fucking awesome. Way cooler than being hungry and drunk and you have nowhere to go and it's getting cold and if those train workers catch you they'll beat the shit out of you and leave you for dead. Plus, what if you are on a moving train and you have to poop? Do you just go in the corner? What if you are with other people? Gross.

Anyhow, enough about that. I am going to go watch a movie now!

Nervous

So the wedding went well, party was fun, hotel room was nice, etc. I'm over it.

In good news I am back on the health bandwagon and I'm dragging others up with me, as I usually do when I am motivated! I made these little calenders with spaces on each day to write calories and exercise time, and at the end of every week a space to write weight. I made one for Seth also and they are pinned next to my bed so I can be faced with them daily. We are both trying to lose some weight so I felt that we needed something new to get us going. Plus, to me weighing in once a week has a game-like feel to it, and is motivating because I find weight loss tv shows to be satisfying. Since I started last week I have been exercising almost every single day, and yesterday I even went twice. It helps to have Shirley and Seth to go with me, sometimes together and sometimes seperately. Summer's coming up and I can't hide behind winter clothes forever. Plus I would really like to once again fit into the pants that I could fit into last summer.

So my family is taking a trip to Israel at the beginning of June for Jake's 13th birthday. I am really excited about it because I havn't been there since I was 11, and I think I would really have fun there if I went now. Plus I havn't seen my family over there in that long, so I think they will be really happy to see me. They are always asking me to come. And my grandmother is 90 years old, this will probably be the last time I will ever see her. Last time my family took a trip to Israel together my grandfather was alive, and he died shortly thereafter, and I have felt pretty bad about that ever since. I am even trying to get Seth on board with the trip!

I just wrote my boss a letter explaining that I wanted 2 weeks off to go and also explaining the significance of the trip, but I am extremely nervous about my request being turned down. I don't know what I would do if they said no. I am worried because we are a bit short handed, although June is far enough away that it shouldn't matter by then. Plus, I know of 2 other people that just had their vaccation requests denied, even though they were for much shorter periods of time, for example: 3 days. Also, my bosses are not very understanding people, and are sometimes even huge jerks for no discernable reason. So, yes, I am very, very worried about it.

Still haven't written that essay for CSU, but I think I know the reason. As the reality of the cost of going to college out of state set in, I think I became more solid on the idea of just going to College Park, even though I would prefer Colorado. Going to CSU would cost twice as much, and I would be far away from all of my friends and family. I think part of me doesn't want to finish applying to CSU because if I got in then I would have to make a hard choice, while this way it's easier for me to just blow it off. But another part of me still wants to apply, because I may one day regret not doing so. It's just very confusing. So that's my story right now.

Friends

Bachelorette Party:
So the bachelorette party was a huge success, if I may say so myself. We made it to the restaurant on time, the Banana Cafe and Piano Bar. Elise loved her little outfit, she wore her penis-queen costume all night, and so it was worth every penny!

The food was pretty good, yummy fried plantains and yucca and rice and guacamole and vegetables. I think everyone liked their food, and the atmosphere was very upbeat and colorful. I gave everyone the gift bags I had put together, which included glow in the dark penis straws (which everyone used all night), temporary tattoos of butteflies which we plastered ourselves with at the restaurant, mardi gras beads, and giant fake diamond rings.  We had margaritas and Lydia made a penis-shaped cake with penis-shaped sprinkles on it!



We had a great time! Here is a picture of Elise, Lydia, and Rachel (Elise's cousin):

Afterwards we went to the hotel to check in. The room was nice and we actually even found street parking. Bree, Lydia, Elise and I shared the room.

Finally we went to the club Ziegfields/Secrets. The downstairs area seemed pretty normal, not a whole lot going on, but upstairs at Secrets there were nude male dancers everywhere. At first I was pretty uncomfortable, it seems wrong to stare at naked people dancing, but after a while I got used to it. 

Why not objectify men? They do it to women all the time. Plus they didn't look miserable or anything, actually like they were enjoyng the attention. After all, they were super...super...super hot. At least most of them were.

The best thing about going to a gay club is that nobody hits on you. You are dancing with your friends, surrounded by hot guys, and no losers try to creep in.

When I was finally sick of naked men for the moment I went downstairs and there was a pretty great drag show going on, drag queens lip synching to songs like "It's Raining Men", dressed in sequins and costumes and giant headdresses. It was awesome!

At around 2 A.M. Elise was pretty drunk so we decided to head back to the hotel room. She was making quite a ruckus, hootin' and hollerin' and singing loudly. I tried to tell her to be quiet, I'm sensitive to hotel problems seeing as I work in one, but there was just no use. I was sure they were going to call up and tell us to be quiet, but nobody ever did. Then they were all like "ooh let's call room service and make them bring us a bottle of chamapgne!" I tried to explain that it was 2am and nobody was going to bring us champagne, but they called despite my explaining that the front desk would just get annoyed and laugh about us behind our backs. Which is exactly what happened, but oh well! Elise and I shared a bed, and I was a little afraid she was going to throw up on me, but she didn't, which was wonderful.

In the morning we ate at the hotel's breakfast buffet which was expensive and mediocre. Finally we left and headed back to the real world. I am very proud of how the night went, considering how stressed I was about the whole thing. I bitched a lot, but it was even sort of fun to plan. I would still not like to plan one again for a very long time, if ever.

Kate:
So this week I hung out with my friend Kate who I havn't seen since my New Orleans/travelling days, or almost 5 years. One day we went out to lunch in Ellicott City, and then another day we went shopping around all day. It was really awesome to see her and we had a lot of fun. I'm sad that she left again, but hopefully we will see eachother again soon. It sucks to finally have someone to connect with, and then have them leave, but that's life. Here are pictures of our fun time!

We stopped by the lakefront, It was dreary out.

Then we went to eat at Golden Corall. I am not really a buffet person but I decided to try it out. OMG we ate So much FOOD! They had a large vegetarian selection, and by that I mean vegetables and desserts. Their cabbage was deeelicious, and I also had broccoli, cauliflower, fried okra, a baked sweet potato, mashed potatoes, a cheddar garlic buscuit. When it came time to try the desserts I was wayyyy too full, but I still nibbled several things. Buffets are bad because you end up eating much more than you normally would, but it's kind of cool to get to eat so many different things, and then if you don't like something you just throw it away and get more of what you do like instead. After dinner we stumbled over the the nearby mall and walked into Bass Pro Shop which has taxidermied animals EVERYWHERE. So we decided to take pictures with an elk!

And a moose!

Bass Pro Shop is a crazy place, with giant waterfalls cascading over rocks, and everything you would ever want or need to be cruel to animals. It also has a giant GIANT fish aquarium with huuuge fish in it:

Then we found the section where they sold guns:

People were giving us the strangest looks...I have no idea why!



They sell strange things there...like Acorn Rage! Yummy.



When we were finally done in the store we wandered around the mall and bought matching bear hoodies, brown hoodies with a hood that had a cute bear face on it and bear ears sticking out. So cute! I coudn't resist, they were $3! Craziness.

Another thing we did was go shoe shopping, so now I have shoes for the wedding:

They are very pretty and super comfortable.

So anyways it was really fun hanging out with Kate. Also, I just finished the last book of the Hunger Games series...THAT SERIES WAS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD WOW! I would recomend that series to...anyone and everyone. It was so enjoyable to read, although at times very violent and depressing, but mostly just exciting and entertaining. So good!

Last but not least, I got my first college acceptance letter!!!! I got into UMBC! That's my safe school, so we'll see what else happens, but either way I am excited! YEAH! Even if i don't go there it was free for me to apply so why woudln't I have? Yay, I'm having a really good week.

And finally, to end this blog, a picture of Ender:

Maid of Honor

I got a dresssss for the wedding! It was like $90 from Lord and Taylor but if I find a better cheaper dress I may return this one and get a different one. I do like this dress but I just never wear dresses unless I absolutely have to.
Here it is:

It's hard to see the details/color from this crappy phone picture.

In other news, it was so windy the other day this tree across the street from my house fell over! FROM THE WIND.

It's sad, the old woman whose tree that was, her husband just died. Now her tree fell over. At least it didn't fall on her house.

Picture Time

It's time for a cellphone picture blog! Yay! The weather is unseasonably warm. It is freakin' AWESOME I am loving that groundhog right about now.

Here is my Sethy on Valentines day, we are about to eat the Pho we made!

Look what I found right next to the drive-thru ATM at the Bank of America!!

Stay classy, Jessup

This is the edge of the pool cover at work.

The stain on it looks like a cartoon lady's bust!

The hallway at work. There's something weird about a long hallway.

Moira visited over Christmas and we went to DC.

The Washington Monument at dusk.

I took this picture outside of my house a few months ago. I just love the clouds.

My precious sleepy kitty Ender snuggling on the bed!!

My handsome fluffy-pants.

Ok back to the tedium that is my job!

Back Again

I think I should start blogging again now that I'm out of school. So here goes nothing.

I received my diploma in the mail yesterday! My first diploma in 10 years. Associate of the Arts, General Studies with a Science Emphasis, High Honors, Phi Theta Kappa! Sounds so fancy. It feels good to have accomplished something like that, but I have so much more school to go before I am where I want to be. So far, I have applied to Towson, College Park, and UMBC, and for Colorado State all I have to do is write any essay, but I have been avoiding it with all of my might. It is just so stressful to write, but then again maybe I should just write something, anything, and as long as it's decent just send it off and leave it to the gods of academia to decide. No reason to stress over it, it will be worse if I just never do it. Yeah I'll get right on that...

So Elise's wedding is in 2 weeks! I am the maid of honor, and I still need to buy my dress and finish planning the Bachelorette party. So far I have 7 people on board, and we are going to this DC club called Secrets where they have nude male strippers. That's as far as I've gotten. I don't even know what else I'm supposed to do! The bridal shower is this sunday, and it's a "By the Pound" party so we have to bring a pound of something..how weird is that? I think I am going to go to Michaels and buy a Elise a pound of glitter. And on it I will write "In Case of Emergency". I think it's pretty hilarious. Or I might just buy a bunch of arts and crafts stuff and put it in a nice box type thing. I'll have to feel it out when I get there.  As for the dress, I was waiting until the last minute because I have been wanting to lose some weight, but I think I have done a horrible job of that. I have been so slacking about exercising, but I am going to blame that on Shirley being in Jamaica. Also, I have been eating way too much junkfood, especially in the last couple of days over Valentines day. So much choclate fondue...MMMmmmm....and pasta and cheetos ugh it's disgusting but it was so delicious. I know I am going to regret it on the day of the wedding though! When I am standing up there in front of all those people in a dress, and in all those pictures...but at least I whitened my teeth. I will probably touch that up a little when it gets nearer to the day.

Speaking of Valentines Day, Seth and I cooked the best food! Vegetarian Pho and Edamame Burgers. Seriously, it was freakin good. I have to make that stuff again in the future.

I just read the greatest book, the Hunger Games! It was so awesome. Then I read the sequel, and I am onto the third book now. I will be sad when it's over, although through this series I have learned to truly love my Kindle (Even though their book lending policy is ridiculous). Also, when I am done this book i will have read 5 books since January, a month and a half. Go me! I also read 2 books by Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker and Jitterbug Perfume.

That's all for now!