Saturday, July 31, 2010
Going To Seattle!!
I am really excited because I am finally going to Seattle to visit Moira! I havn't seen Moira in a few years, and last time I did see her it was probably only for a few hours. Now I'm spending five fabulous days with her and I can't wait. Although Moira and I have a complicated past, I don't think you can be friends with anyone for 18 years and completely avoid problems. Wow I just realized that I have known Moira for 18 years. That is INSANE.
We were so little when we met! She was such a little tomboy, and so weird. A really fun person to play with, with a huge imagination! We would always pretend to be space cats or other kinds of small mythical creatures with tails, escaping from trolls and frolicking in the woods. We even went to camp together, art camp and nature camp.
I can't believe we stayed friends through so much...we didn't even go to the same middle school. We did go to high school together. There were so many good memories: vandalizing all sorts of things in Columbia, skipping class and drinking by the lake, getting arrested for breaking into the boathouse (ok that was not exactly a good memory), dying our hair, trying to start a band, wearing baggy jeans, flannel! Oh those were the days. Unfortunately she got into having older boyfriends and skipping school, to the point where she eventually dropped out. We remained friends even though I stuck with high school, and became friends with a completely different group of people that she didn't like. Then I remember when she first moved away, it was heartbreaking. She moved to Rhode Island, and then she basically never came back. After RI she moved to Boston, where I visited her once. She came home every so often and I would see her a little bit here and there, very rarely over the years, and then it was out to Seattle. But somehow we never lost touch. I always had a feeling we would be friends forever, even if we were far away, but I have thought that about other people that I have now given up on. I still feel that way about Moira, though. She has been a MAJOR character in my life story, from practically the beginning.
I just know this is going to be a good trip.
We were so little when we met! She was such a little tomboy, and so weird. A really fun person to play with, with a huge imagination! We would always pretend to be space cats or other kinds of small mythical creatures with tails, escaping from trolls and frolicking in the woods. We even went to camp together, art camp and nature camp.
I can't believe we stayed friends through so much...we didn't even go to the same middle school. We did go to high school together. There were so many good memories: vandalizing all sorts of things in Columbia, skipping class and drinking by the lake, getting arrested for breaking into the boathouse (ok that was not exactly a good memory), dying our hair, trying to start a band, wearing baggy jeans, flannel! Oh those were the days. Unfortunately she got into having older boyfriends and skipping school, to the point where she eventually dropped out. We remained friends even though I stuck with high school, and became friends with a completely different group of people that she didn't like. Then I remember when she first moved away, it was heartbreaking. She moved to Rhode Island, and then she basically never came back. After RI she moved to Boston, where I visited her once. She came home every so often and I would see her a little bit here and there, very rarely over the years, and then it was out to Seattle. But somehow we never lost touch. I always had a feeling we would be friends forever, even if we were far away, but I have thought that about other people that I have now given up on. I still feel that way about Moira, though. She has been a MAJOR character in my life story, from practically the beginning.
I just know this is going to be a good trip.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Working
Well I spent the last two days lazing around happily, but now I'm back as work. 3 days ago I had started a post about how much I wanted to hurt people for no reason and about how angry and murderous I was feeling, but i decided not to post it, and I'm glad because I don't feel that way anymore. It may say something about my general moodiness, but today I feel fine. Maybe it's because I started exercising again? I walked 3.6 miles with Victor and Shirley the other day, then last night went to the gym. I also started counting calories on my super-awesome android phone, so I'm happy to be back on the diet bandwagon. I did weigh myself last night and I was pleased to see that I had not gained any weight during my time off! Maybe it was due to muscle loss, or maybe it's just that I had increased my metabolism. Either way I couldn't be more thrilled about it.
Seth went on his shadow shift, and although at first he was hesitant about the job while he was there, when he got back he decided that he did want the job if they offered it to him. It will be a huge change and we probably will never have a day off together next semester, but it is an important career move, and worth a 15 week sacrifice of our personal time together.
Oh and Inception was great! But then we saw Shutter Island, which was also great, but the similarities between the two movies were hard to ignore. Watch them both (they're both worth the time) and then you'll see, but I'd rather not give anything away. Loved the end of both of them!
So there's this show I really enjoy, called Work of Art. It's on Bravo and it's one of those shows like Project Runway, or Top Chef, where people compete at their craft. Work of Art happens to be about artists. It's actually fascinating to me, when the only limits are usually the far reaches of the imagination, how pathetic some of these works of "art" are. I find I have the same problem with an artistic deadline. I guess creativity can't always be forced. But I wonder about the imagination, and why there often is a limit to what we can think of. It seems like the possibilities are endless when it comes to things as subjective as art, but when you actually try to conceive of something, you find you can easily reach an end. What holds us back from our own mental and imaginative potential??
Seth went on his shadow shift, and although at first he was hesitant about the job while he was there, when he got back he decided that he did want the job if they offered it to him. It will be a huge change and we probably will never have a day off together next semester, but it is an important career move, and worth a 15 week sacrifice of our personal time together.
Oh and Inception was great! But then we saw Shutter Island, which was also great, but the similarities between the two movies were hard to ignore. Watch them both (they're both worth the time) and then you'll see, but I'd rather not give anything away. Loved the end of both of them!
So there's this show I really enjoy, called Work of Art. It's on Bravo and it's one of those shows like Project Runway, or Top Chef, where people compete at their craft. Work of Art happens to be about artists. It's actually fascinating to me, when the only limits are usually the far reaches of the imagination, how pathetic some of these works of "art" are. I find I have the same problem with an artistic deadline. I guess creativity can't always be forced. But I wonder about the imagination, and why there often is a limit to what we can think of. It seems like the possibilities are endless when it comes to things as subjective as art, but when you actually try to conceive of something, you find you can easily reach an end. What holds us back from our own mental and imaginative potential??
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Upgraded!
Today is a very exciting day! Yes, because today indeed is my first day owning an Android smartphone!!!! I finally traded in my crappy little dying phone for the newest phone available on my provider, and the one that I have been waiting for for a long time. It's the Samsung Vibrant and it's the closest thing to an iPhone on T-Mobile. I love it!!!! It is so lightweight and fast and the screen is so big and bright! It came preloaded with Avatar the movie, the Sims 3, Kimble, and MobiTV. I have finally caught up with the times. Now I can be one of those people always staring at their little device, completely unaware of the world around them! My antisocial nature can continue to thrive. It also has this really neat texting called Swype. I could go on and on...
I finished my art! There were 5 pieces total, and also a video component. And the opening was last night but of course I couldn't go because I was working. Elise said it went really well and a lot of people showed up!
Work has been so boring lately. I can hardly stand it but I guess it's something to do. Seth and I had one day off together this week, but he actually might get this job he applied for so instead he's going on a shadow shift to see what the job is all about. So sadly now we have no days off together anymore. Oh well, I think we're going to see Inception tomorrow morning. Hope it's as good as they say!
Friday, July 16, 2010
All Shook Up
So how about that earthquake this morning, huh? That was bizarre! 3.6 magnitude woke me up at 5am, at which point I decided that sleeping was more important than confirming the fact that I had just been in an earthquake. I fell back asleep thinking "don't forget to look this up online in the morning". Then I had a bunch of other weird dreams, so when I woke up I thought, surely that must have been a dream too. But I looked it up anyways, just for kicks, and there it was! It had really happened. It was all very surreal, but I'm glad I woke up at all, and now I can say I have experienced an earthquake. I am checking that off my bucket list.
When I did finally wake up I painted a painting that I had dreamt the composition of. It turned out really good and i'm really proud of it! It's a cliff dropping off into the ocean with a giant wave in the foreground and clouds overhead. I also painted my dinasaur head silver and I painted a doosmday clock and i'm going to mount the silver dinasaur head in the middle. Then I painted some more little dinasaurs. Basically I have to finish everything tomorrow morning and get it up to the gallery by 1pm. I'm a little stressed out about it but its all coming together in a way. I will be glad when this is over, but also bored and listless again.
So I went to Colorado and it was AMAZING weather. It was really hard to come back to this Maryland weather. Out there some days it was between 93 and 98 degrees, but actually it was nice outside. It was quite sunny and warm, but there wasn't any humidity so you could spend time outside, go hiking, eat outdoors, drive with the windows down, and it was beautiful!! Now I'm back to this AWFUL humidity. Being outside is basically pure hell, and there is no end to this misery in sight. I am almost definately going to move to CO, the lack of humidity alone would be well worth it. I can't wait to go to a university, live free of my parents, make new friends, get a new job, and see beautiful scenery every day!!!
Eyes on the prize.
When I did finally wake up I painted a painting that I had dreamt the composition of. It turned out really good and i'm really proud of it! It's a cliff dropping off into the ocean with a giant wave in the foreground and clouds overhead. I also painted my dinasaur head silver and I painted a doosmday clock and i'm going to mount the silver dinasaur head in the middle. Then I painted some more little dinasaurs. Basically I have to finish everything tomorrow morning and get it up to the gallery by 1pm. I'm a little stressed out about it but its all coming together in a way. I will be glad when this is over, but also bored and listless again.
So I went to Colorado and it was AMAZING weather. It was really hard to come back to this Maryland weather. Out there some days it was between 93 and 98 degrees, but actually it was nice outside. It was quite sunny and warm, but there wasn't any humidity so you could spend time outside, go hiking, eat outdoors, drive with the windows down, and it was beautiful!! Now I'm back to this AWFUL humidity. Being outside is basically pure hell, and there is no end to this misery in sight. I am almost definately going to move to CO, the lack of humidity alone would be well worth it. I can't wait to go to a university, live free of my parents, make new friends, get a new job, and see beautiful scenery every day!!!
Eyes on the prize.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Blue
I think I'm depressed...what do I do!?! I havn't been depressed for like two years. I was happy as a clam about whatever I was doing and no matter what everything was ok. Just an even, good tempered, and solid mood. A few weeks ago it started going downhill. I just don't feel right anymore! I feel really bad and I keep hoping that the next day I will wake up and everything will be happy again, but it's just not happening. Now with this back pain I am getting even worse. I can't even exercise anymore which was something that was making me feel good every day, so I'm just miserable. I should be excited that I am going on vacation the day after tomorrow, but instead I just don't even care.
When I first started feeling bad a few weeks ago, I thought it was because I was lonely and I felt like I had no friends. Since then nothing has changed, but I'm afraid that I just feel bad for no reason and I'm just trying to find a reason, because at least then it would make sense. Nothing has changed situationally since I was happy so it must be my brain chemicals. Should I go on antidepressants? Or should I just try to wait it out?
Also my back is really starting to concern me. It is a constant pain in my spine and I'm taking a ton of ibuprofen which is lowering my blood pressure and making me drowsy. I just don't know what to do about anything!!!! I guess I should go to the doctor but I know that she'll just tell me to like take it easy and take ibuprofen. She might prescribe me 800mg ibuprofen at the most. I just want a solution! I'm too young to have this problem.
When I first started feeling bad a few weeks ago, I thought it was because I was lonely and I felt like I had no friends. Since then nothing has changed, but I'm afraid that I just feel bad for no reason and I'm just trying to find a reason, because at least then it would make sense. Nothing has changed situationally since I was happy so it must be my brain chemicals. Should I go on antidepressants? Or should I just try to wait it out?
Also my back is really starting to concern me. It is a constant pain in my spine and I'm taking a ton of ibuprofen which is lowering my blood pressure and making me drowsy. I just don't know what to do about anything!!!! I guess I should go to the doctor but I know that she'll just tell me to like take it easy and take ibuprofen. She might prescribe me 800mg ibuprofen at the most. I just want a solution! I'm too young to have this problem.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
In Pain
So I havn't been able to exercise or anything for days because this small pain in my lower back on my spine keeps getting worse. I've had this pain for a few weeks now but for a while it was minor and I figured I would just exercise through the pain and ignore it. In the past few days it has become exponentially worse. It is especially bad when I am walking. This morning I woke up and also had severe muscle soreness on my left lower back. This is all very upsetting! It seems like there is always something keeping me from being athletic. It seems that as soon as I found the motivation, got into some sort of shape, and increased my aerobic ability, I got injured and now I am forced to take a haiatus. It's so annoying! All I want to do is run free and feel spry and healthy and now I just feel like an old lady.
In good news I had the day off from work yesterday and I accomplished a LOT art-wise. Here I will show you a sneak peak at my artwork for the next show at Positron Gallery. The show theme is Eschatology.
I made my first mosaic!
In good news I had the day off from work yesterday and I accomplished a LOT art-wise. Here I will show you a sneak peak at my artwork for the next show at Positron Gallery. The show theme is Eschatology.
I made my first mosaic!
The center of the eye is a mirror.
I also spray painted a decorative birdcage to look like stone, and inside of it I made a little diorama habitat for a solitary skeletal dinasaur. This is a view from the top:
This is a view from the side:
I'm very happy with my progress!
I'm going to Colorado in a few days, I hope my back is better by then because I was planning on doing a lot of walking and hiking.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Haunted
The problem that I have with where I live is that everywhere I go in this town I am haunted by ghosts of the past. Every street, lake, stream, tree, or neighborhood reminds me of my past. I have strong associations with all of them, and I find that my memories are following me around and negatively affecting my current life. I can't wait to move somewhere new, if only because I will be able to stop obsessing about the past and things I cannot change or return to, and be able to focus on the present and the future.
In other news, I just spent $80 dollars at Michael's and I started on my art project. I am currently spray painting one of my birdcages to look like stone. I also bought a diorama set so I can set up a miniature scene inside of my birdcage complete with dinosaurs, trees, grass, and rocks. I also bought several pieces of wood for my second project and I think I am going to go through with my original idea that I didn't think I had time to do. To add an element of stress, I bought mosaic tiles and grout, which I have never worked with, and I'm going to try and do something with that.
So far a productive day off.
In other news, I just spent $80 dollars at Michael's and I started on my art project. I am currently spray painting one of my birdcages to look like stone. I also bought a diorama set so I can set up a miniature scene inside of my birdcage complete with dinosaurs, trees, grass, and rocks. I also bought several pieces of wood for my second project and I think I am going to go through with my original idea that I didn't think I had time to do. To add an element of stress, I bought mosaic tiles and grout, which I have never worked with, and I'm going to try and do something with that.
So far a productive day off.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Shrinking
So I've been on this weight loss journey for the past few months and it has been a very arduous path. I'm trying to get down to my ideal weight, and for the first time in my life it is actually working. For my height I should be about 130 lbs to be in the mid range of a normal BMI. While I don't know if 130 lbs is achievable for me, I figure I may as well try while I am on a roll. I think originally in the beginning of March when I started out on my diet and exercise regiment I was 158 lbs. Now it's been 4 full months and I have lost 12 lbs and am down to an incredible (for me anyway) 146! It has been a huge success. Huge. It keeps seeming to be very slow going, as if I've been trying for a million years and not making very much progress, but 4 months really isn't a long time at all. I guess I've lost about 3 lbs a month, which seems measly, but I guess they're adding up. At this rate in another 5 months I should be at 130. But what can I do to speed this up a little bit?
I exercise close to every day. I usually do a combination of walking and running anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour, and I count calories like nobodies business. I usually eat between 1000 and 2000 calories (I try for 1500), it depends on whether I'm having a good day or a bad day. I also do weights and sometimes I even walk/run twice a day. Short of starving myself to death and exercising nonstop, I feel like I am putting out a huge effort here. I know they say that people can lose up to 2 lbs a week...how is that even possible??!! Seems insane.
It's slow at the hotel today.
I am trying to make some art but I only have 2 full days to work on it and Elise's Eschatology show is on July 17th. I am going to Colorado the week right before the 17th and I have to work almost every day up until I leave....So far my materials are an assortment of plastic dinasaur toys, spray paint that makes things look like stone, little black and white cut-outs of dinasuars, a dinasaur pop-up book, and 2 antique/decorative bird cages. I feel very confused as to where I am going with this. I'm kind of just going with the flow and hoping I end up somewhere at the very least entertaining, and best case scenario, incredible.
In the mean time I'm just going to cut out some more dinasaur pictures and let my mind meditate on what I should do.
In disapointing news, I have recently discovered how incredible the Nickelodeon series Avatar: The Last Airbender truly is. It is funny, smart, wonderfully animated, and has a beautiful plot, amazing characters, humor, and grace. I have been looking forward to the live-action movie for months now and was sorely disapointed to see that it got only 6% on Rotten Tomatoes. I know M. Night Shymalan is horrible, but I was hoping he wouldnt' be able to mess this up as badly as he did. My friend John said that M. Night is like a reverse Midas, everything he touches turns to poo.
Damn you M. Night!
I exercise close to every day. I usually do a combination of walking and running anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour, and I count calories like nobodies business. I usually eat between 1000 and 2000 calories (I try for 1500), it depends on whether I'm having a good day or a bad day. I also do weights and sometimes I even walk/run twice a day. Short of starving myself to death and exercising nonstop, I feel like I am putting out a huge effort here. I know they say that people can lose up to 2 lbs a week...how is that even possible??!! Seems insane.
It's slow at the hotel today.
I am trying to make some art but I only have 2 full days to work on it and Elise's Eschatology show is on July 17th. I am going to Colorado the week right before the 17th and I have to work almost every day up until I leave....So far my materials are an assortment of plastic dinasaur toys, spray paint that makes things look like stone, little black and white cut-outs of dinasuars, a dinasaur pop-up book, and 2 antique/decorative bird cages. I feel very confused as to where I am going with this. I'm kind of just going with the flow and hoping I end up somewhere at the very least entertaining, and best case scenario, incredible.
In the mean time I'm just going to cut out some more dinasaur pictures and let my mind meditate on what I should do.
In disapointing news, I have recently discovered how incredible the Nickelodeon series Avatar: The Last Airbender truly is. It is funny, smart, wonderfully animated, and has a beautiful plot, amazing characters, humor, and grace. I have been looking forward to the live-action movie for months now and was sorely disapointed to see that it got only 6% on Rotten Tomatoes. I know M. Night Shymalan is horrible, but I was hoping he wouldnt' be able to mess this up as badly as he did. My friend John said that M. Night is like a reverse Midas, everything he touches turns to poo.
Damn you M. Night!
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